Gone to the Dogs

Yikes!

RFSJ

Funnies for a Dreary Monday

It's cool enough here in Vernon that I'm tempted to light a fire in the fireplace! But I'll wait, although it reminds more of October than August. Here are some funnies that might warm your heart on this cool day:


Getting through Customs.....

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?'

'Of course child. What may I do for you?''Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.''With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?''I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Pass, Father. Next!'

Quasimodo Died....

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Parish that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approched him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The Bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man "observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?" "I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a bell."


The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for a bell ringer of Nothre Dame. The first man to approach him said "Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armles wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty." The bishop agreed to give the man an audition and as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched his chest and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. "What has happened?" the first breathlessly asked. "Who is this man?" I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

RFSJ

Awwww!

This is just cute!





RFSJ

Puppy Pix!

I just discovered LOLDogs, a.k.a I Haz a Hotdog, which has all sorts of cute pix of dogs and puppies. What could be better? (Thanks to the Rev Boy for the tip.)

RFSJ

What Sci-Fi Character Are You?

A venerated sage with vast power and knowledge, you gently guide forces around you while serving as a champion of the light.

Judge me by my size, do you? And well you should not - for my ally is the Force. And a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us, and binds us. Luminescent beings are we, not this crude matter! You must feel the Force around you, everywhere.

I love these things - sometimes they make no sense, but sometimes there seems to be a kernel of truth there. I leave it to you to decide whcih in this case. But take the quiz and come back and tell us the results in Comments!

RFSJ

What's Wrong with this picture?

Kudos to whoever can figure it out!

RFSJ

Caption Contest: So what were they really talking about?

So now you can all channel your inner MadPriest: Caption Contest: what's the best headline for this picture?

RFSJ

What Spice Are You?

Your Score: Salt

You scored 50% intoxication, 0% hotness, 50% complexity, and 25% craziness!

You are Salt! You may be bland, but life just wouldn't be the same without you. You're plentiful and you come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colours. You bring out the flavour in whatever you touch and have been the world's best preservative for millennia. You rock.

Link: The Which Spice Are You Test written by jodiesattva on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test View My Profile(jodiesattva)

Thanks to Grandmere Mimi!

RFSJ

You Know You're An Episcopalian If...

You might be an Episcopalian if...

…you recognize your neighbor, or rector, in the local liquor store and go over to greet him/her.

…if you have totally memorized Rite I, Rite II and the first three episodes of *The Vicar of Dibley*.

…if while watching the movie “The Madness of King George” you’re able to recite with the King, when he undergoes “surgery,” the Collect for Purity

…if words like: “vouchsafe”, “oblation”, “supplications”, “succor”, “bewail”, “wherefore”, “dost”, “meet”, and “very” (in its archaic sense) are familiar to you even if you don’t have a clue that they mean.

…if you can pronounce “innumerable benefits procured to us by the same.”

…if hearing people pray in the language of “jesuswejus” makes you want to scream.

…if you can rattle off such tongue twisters like: “..who made there by his one oblation of himself once offered a full and perfect sacrifice, oblation and satisfaction for the sins of the world” and “Wherefore, O, Lord and Heavenly Father, we thy people, do celebrate and make here, with these gifts which we offer unto thee, the memorial thy Son hath commanded us to make…” without missing a beat.

…if someone says, “Let us pray” and you automatically hit your knees.

…if the word “Sewanee” puts a lump in your throat.

…if you catch yourself genuflecting or bowing as you enter a row of seats in a theater.

…if your choir director suggests discussing something over a beer after choir rehearsal.

…if, when visiting a Catholic Church, you are the only Ah-men amongst a sea of Ay-mens

…if your covered dish for the potluck dinner is escargot in puff shells.

…if you think the most serious breach of propriety one can commit is failure to chill the salad forks.

…if your picnic basket has sterling knives and forks (entree, fish, salad and cake).

…if you ever find yourself saying, “Oh, but we’ve never done it that way before.”

…if you know that a sursum corda is not a surgical procedure.

…if you don’t think Agnus Dei is a woman.

…if you know the difference between a surplice and a cotta…and the appropriate use of each.

…if you know that the nave is not a playing card.

…if you know that the Senior Warden and the Junior Warden are not positions in the local prison.

…if your friend said “I’m truly sorry…” and you replied, “and you humbly repent?”

And finally….

…if you reach a point when you’re not sure about anything theologically but you still feel completely at home at the altar rail and somehow know you’re meeting God there, even though you can’t begin to understand how.

(Thanks to Elizabeth Kaeton....)

RFSJ

Signs of the Future?

It took me bit to figure it out, but it's kind of amusing in an odd sort of way (click on images to enlarge):


Rather late for Christmas, but even so, it's about dogs, so it's always good:

Recently, The New Yorker ran a contest to desgin some new looks for their resident dandy, Eustace Tilley. The finalists were on their website. Here are two of my favorites.

I'm a huge fan of both regression and self-reference. This one has both:



And I love the NY subway, so this one was adorable too. (To get the reference, have a look at the NYC subway map.)




RFSJ

Monday Funnies

Here's a Valentine strategy for you research scientists out there for next year - better start now!
(Click to enlarge all images)


This is so true! I had totally forgotten the original "I lost my password" story!



And this one too: They're damned if they do, and damned if they do the other way. Unlike others, I tend to think elected officials are fine as delegates. Yhey have constituencies to satisfy as well, and actually have to potentially work with whomever they help nominate. So I like the current mix in the Democratic party of about 20% of all delegates as elected and party officials. Our artist below wonders:

And finally, from today's Metropolitan Diary of the NYT.:

Dear Diary:

I recently pointed out to my friend the seemingly paradoxical claim of an ad above the construction site at 535 West End Avenue, which informs that the building will have “21st-Century Prewar Residences.”

In response, he wondered whether they might know something we don’t about our foreign policy. Barry B. Perlman, M.D.

RFSJ

"Un-necessary" Quotation marks!

Grammarians of the world, unite!


H/T to Ember Days.



RFSJ

Happy Halloween!

RFSJ

From the Ministry of Transport....

This just goes to show, the British do love their Anglican Chant....

h/t to bls.

RFSJ

The New Monday Night Service....

I think this has real potential. Not quite sure how to do the Gospel Procession though - maybe as an I-formation?

Here's a preview.

RFSJ

Arrgghhh, Maties!

Today is th' International Talk Like A Pirate Day, an' altho' I'm not very good t'it, I thought I'd at least mention it. I wonder if Babel has a translator from English into Pirate? It'd be fun t' see what th' Bible looks like, arrr!

RFSJ

Yup, they really do that!

At the Indiana State Fair, which just ended on Sunday this year, they really do serve all sorts of things fried - Oreos, Snickers, Twinkies, you name it. And here's proof!




And the prices are reasonable, too! I do wonder what Deep-Fried Pepsi is, though....

Hat tip to the NY Times.

RFSJ

I've Gone to Camp

This week I am serving as visiting chaplain at Crossroads Camp and Conference Center, in North Central NJ. Crossroads is a joint operation of the Diocese of Newark and the New Jersey Synod of the ELCA. It's a great opportunity for kids to have time int he woods and the lake and stuff, and also to experience again some of the enthusiasm that I remember when I was a counselor at the YMCA Storer Camps while I was in HS.

Best experience so far: the campfires! some of the songs I know from back in the day, and lots are new. I'm finding, though, the I don't move quite as quickly as I once did.....

RFSJ

There's a Castle Outside New York

It's called Lyndhurst Castle, and it's just up the Hudson from Tarrytown, about a half-mile from the Tappan Zee Bridge. It's the former Gould suburban mansion, complete with Conservatory and Carriage House. At one time the Conservatory was known as having the largest metal framed greenhouse in the world. We went on Saturday and got there just in time for the 3:30 tour. There really isn't very much to the house, although it is decorated nicely for the periods. I'd have to say the exterior is more impressive than inside is. But it's definitely worth a see if you are in the neighborhood.

RFSJ

Quiz: I'm a Dedicated Reader

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.
Literate Good Citizen
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Fad Reader
Book Snob
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

Hat tip to Chris Coucheron-Aomot.

RFSJ