I've been thinking about Mary M all day. I was not able to attend the Eucharist today, but I did observe both the Morning and Evening Offices. At MP we read from Zephaniah ("Shout, O Daughter Zion!") and Mark (Mary M witnesses the Crucifixion and discovers the Empty Tomb.) Evensong gave us The Song of Miriam from Exodus ("Sing to the Lord, for He has triumphed gloriously") and a wonderful, if dense, ode to the consolation of Christ from 2 Corinthians 1. The Offices give us several different suggestions about thinking about Mary M - and I'm not even including the proper Psalms (116 in the morning, 30 and 149 in the evening). So why is it that I can't seem to get into this feast? What is it that leaves me cold this evening?
I think part of what I'm struggling with is how observance of this feast has in some way edified me or lifted me up or helped my ongoing transformation/continuous conversion to the mind of Christ. I know that, at a minimum, merely observing the Offices is a good discipline (whence we also get the word "disciple") and that I should not expect any particular insight or result. Praising God in the daily round of prayers is reason enough to do the Office. So then why am I bothered that nothing seemed to happen today? Isn't thanking God for the witness of Mary M enough? Why not?